








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1845 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6512 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3274 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5476 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4308 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,792,416 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 922 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akaza | 9 9 9 | 64% | 118 |
| #2 | Aki Hayakawa | 64% | 56 |
| #3 | hovinen | 57% | 131 |
| #4 | 冰淇淋 | 55% | 119 |
| #5 | Gain Eager | 53% | 365 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yegor.vadim b0$$ | 55 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Akaza | 9 9 9 | 33 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | 冰淇淋 | 24 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Gain Eager | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Abelsiini | 17 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aki Hayakawa | +4.42 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Akaza | 9 9 9 | +3.41 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | OTTO | +2.19 | 80 | 52 |
| #4 | 冰淇淋 | +1.56 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | ykkosvaantaja | +1.41 | 75 | 50 |





