








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 487 | 19% |
| Smokes | 832 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 689 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 537 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,674 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Witerally Wizz God | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | gooner | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Muzzatron | 48% | 92 |
| #5 | oedibus | 47% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oedibus | 47% | 127 |
| #6 | Alex:) | 45% | 40 |
| #7 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 45% | 67 |
| #8 | Taso | 41% | 56 |
| #9 | Nickelback | 39% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muzzatron | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | oedibus | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Taso | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Nickelback | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muzzatron | 313 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | oedibus | 246 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nickelback | 82 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 63 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jordan | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taso | +2.11 | 65 | 30 |
| #2 | gooner | +1.67 | 67 | 19 |
| #3 | Muzzatron | +1.59 | 60 | 60 |
| #4 | oedibus | +0.42 | 74 | 50 |
| #5 | Ghost | +0.02 | 74 | 41 |





