








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 423 | 18% |
| Smokes | 738 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 644 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 556 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,837 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Witerally Wizz God | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | Muzzatron | 43% | 84 |
| #3 | gooner | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | Jordan | 40% | 42 |
| #5 | Ghost | 39% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ghost | 39% | 94 |
| #6 | oedibus | 38% | 144 |
| #7 | Alex:) | 37% | 75 |
| #8 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 37% | 81 |
| #9 | Taso | 31% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muzzatron | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | oedibus | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Taso | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Ghost | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muzzatron | 276 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | oedibus | 269 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jack's Pocket Pussy | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jordan | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ghost | 56 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taso | +2.07 | 66 | 28 |
| #2 | Muzzatron | +1.81 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | gooner | +0.95 | 66 | 17 |
| #4 | oedibus | +0.09 | 75 | 48 |
| #5 | Ghost | -0.10 | 75 | 39 |





