








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6580 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3219 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 6775 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4986 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,035,658 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ikarin | 48% | 403 |
| #2 | Kai | 47% | 560 |
| #3 | s1ay | 45% | 205 |
| #4 | Turbine Ryota | 44% | 147 |
| #5 | Aidan | 43% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | s1ay | 45% | 205 |
| #4 | Turbine Ryota | 44% | 147 |
| #5 | Aidan | 43% | 222 |
| #6 | danzerDADA | 42% | 125 |
| #7 | BrawlOffSleepMeds | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 32 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Ikarin | 28 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Aidan | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Turbine Ryota | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | BrawlOffSleepMeds | 7 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 1323 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #2 | Ikarin | 1218 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #3 | s1ay | 393 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Aidan | 369 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | danzerDADA | 348 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | +4.17 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | danzerDADA | +4.15 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | Ikarin | +3.18 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | s1ay | -0.89 | 36 | 52 |
| #5 | BrawlOffSleepMeds | -2.71 | 38 | 46 |





