








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,826 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6650 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5520 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4151 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2505 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,604,316 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Ikarin | 46% | 117 |
| #12 | Kai | 45% | 214 |
| #13 | BhooM | 42% | 125 |
| #14 | Aidan | 37% | 115 |
| #15 | Turbine Ryota | 33% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BhooM | 490 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | EnemyStandUser | 472 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Kai | 423 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Altair_HotZera | 377 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ikarin | 319 | 0.14 | 6 min |





