








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2451 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1463 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1623 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3066 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,552,965 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danzerDADA | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | Ikarin | 46% | 278 |
| #3 | Kai | 46% | 351 |
| #4 | BhooM | 45% | 205 |
| #5 | Turbine Ryota | 44% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kai | 46% | 351 |
| #4 | BhooM | 45% | 205 |
| #5 | Turbine Ryota | 44% | 97 |
| #6 | Aidan | 41% | 94 |
| #7 | BrawlOffSleepMeds | 15% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 20 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Ikarin | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | BhooM | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Aidan | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Turbine Ryota | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 883 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #2 | BhooM | 852 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #3 | Ikarin | 821 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | Turbine Ryota | 203 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | danzerDADA | 171 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danzerDADA | +3.81 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | Kai | +3.60 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Ikarin | +2.37 | 70 | 51 |
| #4 | s1ay | -1.46 | 36 | 54 |
| #5 | Turbine Ryota | -2.85 | 37 | 49 |





