








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6990 | 49% |
| Smokes | 4050 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2098 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1062 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,234,653 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 49% | 701 |
| #2 | BhooM | 48% | 403 |
| #3 | Aidan | 47% | 175 |
| #4 | s1ay | 46% | 278 |
| #5 | danzerDADA | 46% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Aidan | 47% | 175 |
| #4 | s1ay | 46% | 278 |
| #5 | danzerDADA | 46% | 117 |
| #6 | Turbine Ryota | 46% | 209 |
| #7 | BrawlOffSleepMeds | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | 34 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | BhooM | 18 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Aidan | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Turbine Ryota | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | BrawlOffSleepMeds | 9 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BhooM | 1744 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | Kai | 1615 | 0.11 | 38 min |
| #3 | s1ay | 557 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | Turbine Ryota | 444 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | danzerDADA | 350 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai | +3.41 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | danzerDADA | +3.36 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | Ikarin | +2.50 | 69 | 51 |
| #4 | s1ay | -1.71 | 35 | 55 |
| #5 | Turbine Ryota | -2.76 | 33 | 48 |





