








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 885 | 29% |
| Smokes | 247 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 919 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 958 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,620 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Van_Dijk_op | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Hollow Frost | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | fijiwater | 48% | 81 |
| #4 | hilts | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Sphinx. | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rat Cube | 43% | 40 |
| #9 | ynivan | 38% | 24 |
| #10 | cq | 35% | 31 |
| #11 | swity hittin the griddy | 31% | 16 |
| #12 | phycast | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | 21 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Hollow Frost | 11 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | cq | 10 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | Rat Cube | 8 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | hilts | 8 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | 191 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ryderbest | 168 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | cq | 147 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | doctor sex | 143 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hollow Frost | 80 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | +3.76 | 73 | 48 |
| #2 | doctor sex | +3.04 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | cq | +3.03 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | Sphinx. | +1.98 | 57 | 51 |
| #5 | Ryderbest | +1.38 | 37 | 37 |





