








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2348 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3113 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2829 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4051 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,637,357 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheezhed82 | 65% | 121 |
| #2 | fijiwater | 60% | 465 |
| #3 | phycast | 58% | 179 |
| #4 | Sphinx. | 57% | 139 |
| #5 | doctor sex | 57% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | hilts | 54% | 283 |
| #8 | ynivan | 54% | 127 |
| #9 | Van_Dijk_op | 53% | 135 |
| #10 | Rat Cube | 49% | 81 |
| #11 | john f kennedy | 43% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | 97 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | hilts | 47 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | john f kennedy | 31 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | phycast | 27 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Van_Dijk_op | 27 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | 978 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | hilts | 538 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | doctor sex | 226 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hollow Frost | 208 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sphinx. | 177 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | +4.95 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | doctor sex | +3.83 | 65 | 67 |
| #3 | cheezhed82 | +3.66 | 66 | 44 |
| #4 | Ryderbest | +2.13 | 50 | 41 |
| #5 | Sphinx. | +1.95 | 60 | 55 |





