








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 979 | 41% |
| Smokes | 464 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 363 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 571 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $217,574 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doctor sex | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | phycast | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | fijiwater | 54% | 72 |
| #4 | Hollow Frost | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Ryderbest | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | hilts | 45% | 40 |
| #7 | Sphinx. | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | john f kennedy | 43% | 40 |
| #9 | Van_Dijk_op | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | LostTypical | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | 15 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | john f kennedy | 12 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | Van_Dijk_op | 9 | 0.0225 |
| #4 | LostTypical | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | hilts | 5 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | 168 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ryderbest | 115 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | hilts | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | doctor sex | 61 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | john f kennedy | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | +5.11 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | doctor sex | +4.74 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | Ryderbest | +2.23 | 38 | 46 |
| #4 | Sphinx. | +1.40 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Hollow Frost | -0.51 | 57 | 33 |





