








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1203 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1788 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 658 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 913 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,319 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doctor sex | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | fijiwater | 58% | 168 |
| #3 | cheezhed82 | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | phycast | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Ryderbest | 55% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ynivan | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | Sphinx. | 50% | 26 |
| #10 | Rat Cube | 50% | 26 |
| #11 | hilts | 50% | 54 |
| #12 | cq | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | 32 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | john f kennedy | 15 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | hilts | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Van_Dijk_op | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | cq | 5 | 0.0184 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | 375 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ryderbest | 167 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | hilts | 110 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | cq | 70 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #5 | john f kennedy | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fijiwater | +5.27 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | cq | +3.88 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | cheezhed82 | +2.58 | 67 | 41 |
| #4 | Ryderbest | +2.40 | 50 | 48 |
| #5 | doctor sex | +2.23 | 61 | 69 |





