








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2552 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2400 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3193 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1862 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $869,763 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 922 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cq | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | fijiwater | 65% | 74 |
| #3 | Rat Cube | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | hilts | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | Ryderbest | 57% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ryderbest | 57% | 115 |
| #6 | Sphinx. | 54% | 61 |
| #7 | phycast | 44% | 25 |
| #8 | john f kennedy | 44% | 71 |
| #9 | swity hittin the griddy | 36% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john f kennedy | 22 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | fijiwater | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | swity hittin the griddy | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Sphinx. | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Ryderbest | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swity hittin the griddy | 240 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | fijiwater | 135 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ryderbest | 122 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | john f kennedy | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | cq | 76 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cq | +4.43 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | fijiwater | +3.21 | 76 | 48 |
| #3 | doctor sex | +1.98 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Ryderbest | +0.22 | 43 | 37 |
| #5 | Sphinx. | -0.00 | 54 | 48 |





