








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4576 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2448 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1551 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2171 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,253,286 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 451 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diddleslop | 53% | 77 |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 50% | 102 |
| #3 | BlumpkinMan | 48% | 157 |
| #4 | Flowisp | 46% | 68 |
| #5 | Not Demure | 44% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | flovvertð’€± | 43% | 251 |
| #7 | coconut dogy | 39% | 64 |
| #8 | basick | 37% | 79 |
| #9 | Czarval | 33% | 78 |
| #10 | Colby Brian | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diddleslop | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | basick | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Flowisp | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | flovvertð’€± | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | BlumpkinMan | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flovvertð’€± | 734 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 362 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | basick | 322 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | BlumpkinMan | 271 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Flowisp | 250 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basick | +5.92 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | +3.42 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | diddleslop | +0.56 | 55 | 54 |
| #4 | flovvertð’€± | +0.51 | 41 | 49 |
| #5 | Flowisp | -0.18 | 61 | 69 |





