








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2731 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2855 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2426 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2534 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,049,997 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woolly | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | james | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Not Demure | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | Flowisp | 50% | 111 |
| #5 | Mongrel69 | 50% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BlumpkinMan | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | basick | 45% | 58 |
| #10 | coconut dogy | 45% | 94 |
| #11 | Colby Brian | 35% | 31 |
| #12 | Czarval | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flowisp | 15 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | basick | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | flovvertð’€± | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | coconut dogy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | diddleslop | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongrel69 | 458 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Flowisp | 375 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | flovvertð’€± | 355 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | basick | 242 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | coconut dogy | 229 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basick | +5.07 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | woolly | +4.01 | 92 | 45 |
| #3 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | +2.74 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | james | +1.26 | 91 | 48 |
| #5 | flovvertð’€± | -0.67 | 37 | 47 |





