








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 544 | 21% |
| Smokes | 507 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 709 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 855 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,649 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not Demure | 38% | 63 |
| #2 | BlumpkinMan | 36% | 80 |
| #3 | flovvertð’€± | 34% | 109 |
| #4 | Mongrel69 | 33% | 78 |
| #5 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mongrel69 | 33% | 78 |
| #5 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 31% | 29 |
| #6 | diddleslop | 27% | 15 |
| #7 | Flowisp | 25% | 8 |
| #8 | basick | 24% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlumpkinMan | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | flovvertð’€± | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | basick | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Mongrel69 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongrel69 | 420 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | flovvertð’€± | 361 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | basick | 242 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | BlumpkinMan | 134 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 125 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basick | +5.04 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | +2.68 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | flovvertð’€± | +0.53 | 37 | 48 |
| #4 | Not Demure | -0.82 | 47 | 47 |
| #5 | diddleslop | -0.84 | 50 | 52 |





