








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 474 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2118 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4049 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2849 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3601 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,117,629 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flowisp | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | diddleslop | 50% | 149 |
| #4 | BlumpkinMan | 49% | 292 |
| #5 | Mongrel69 | 44% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BlumpkinMan | 49% | 292 |
| #5 | Mongrel69 | 44% | 215 |
| #6 | flovvertð’€± | 43% | 289 |
| #7 | Czarval | 38% | 63 |
| #8 | basick | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diddleslop | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | flovvertð’€± | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | BlumpkinMan | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Czarval | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Mongrel69 | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongrel69 | 1036 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | flovvertð’€± | 838 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | BlumpkinMan | 475 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | diddleslop | 427 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 225 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basick | +5.31 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | +3.88 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | diddleslop | +1.83 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | flovvertð’€± | +1.18 | 44 | 48 |
| #5 | Flowisp | -0.19 | 59 | 68 |





