










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 778 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3641 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2841 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2936 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2667 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,981,512 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 50% | 126 |
| #2 | Flowisp | 48% | 87 |
| #3 | diddleslop | 44% | 115 |
| #4 | coconut dogy | 44% | 59 |
| #5 | BlumpkinMan | 44% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Colby Brian | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | Mongrel69 | 43% | 251 |
| #8 | Not Demure | 43% | 289 |
| #9 | basick | 35% | 96 |
| #10 | Czarval | 34% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | diddleslop | 13 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | basick | 11 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Flowisp | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Not Demure | 7 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongrel69 | 1279 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 494 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | basick | 421 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | BlumpkinMan | 359 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | diddleslop | 324 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basick | +5.72 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | +2.94 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | diddleslop | +0.73 | 54 | 57 |
| #4 | flovvertš’€± | +0.69 | 42 | 49 |
| #5 | coconut dogy | -0.32 | 50 | 58 |





