








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1075 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3035 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1913 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1467 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1922 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,533 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mongrel69 | 37% | 79 |
| #6 | BlumpkinMan | 36% | 58 |
| #7 | flovvertð’€± | 35% | 96 |
| #8 | Not Demure | 33% | 33 |
| #9 | Czarval | 24% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Flowisp | 7 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | flovvertð’€± | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | hvnlypeach | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | BlumpkinMan | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mongrel69 | 391 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | flovvertð’€± | 309 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | 226 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Flowisp | 128 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Czarval | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | basick | +5.92 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | BrassKiwiMantis104 | +1.55 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | flovvertð’€± | -1.00 | 33 | 49 |
| #4 | Flowisp | -1.74 | 53 | 68 |
| #5 | Mongrel69 | -2.24 | 46 | 58 |





