








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 16% |
| Smokes | 339 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 484 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 425 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,570 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GubGab | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | J-Mark | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | xy | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | HermsT | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Knekkern | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bjydn | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | voldy | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | rampz | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | Ole M | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | WarThorn | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knekkern | 249 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | xy | 63 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | GubGab | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ruby Rose | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ole M | 17 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knekkern | +3.26 | 61 | 72 |
| #2 | J-Mark | +1.17 | 75 | 40 |
| #3 | brew | +1.02 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | Bjydn | +0.97 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | WarThorn | +0.29 | 64 | 43 |





