










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1059 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 167 matches | ||
| Esplay | 92 matches | 1,876 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7512 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7795 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5103 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5802 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,986 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trash Game | 64% | 64 |
| #2 | J-Mark | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Scofield | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | Fattey | 61% | 33 |
| #5 | ojen | 59% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 49% | 35 |
| #16 | Ole M | 45% | 38 |
| #17 | voldy | 44% | 32 |
| #18 | WarThorn | 42% | 106 |
| #19 | somber | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruby Rose | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Ole M | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | brew | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | GubGab | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Trash Game | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xy | 526 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Ruby Rose | 506 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | Trash Game | 205 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | brew | 204 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | s0ppen | 167 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ZuNkEnn-Úlfhéðnar- | +3.12 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | ojen | +2.38 | 56 | 67 |
| #3 | Knekkern | +2.11 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | J-Mark | +1.95 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | s0ppen | +1.69 | 68 | 68 |





