








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1332 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1089 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1133 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,598 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Stick talk Tony | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Wok tarantino | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Jack The Bipper | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | thuey | 48% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Wok tarantino | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Jack The Bipper | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | thuey | 48% | 94 |
| #6 | Tay-K 47 | 46% | 59 |
| #7 | Mr. Electric | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Electric | 14 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Jack The Bipper | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | thuey | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Tay-K 47 | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | 𝔑𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Electric | 415 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #2 | thuey | 261 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tay-K 47 | 245 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jack The Bipper | 111 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wok tarantino | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tay-K 47 | +1.47 | 55 | 59 |
| #2 | ひ Real Dope Fiend™ | +1.09 | 41 | 57 |
| #3 | Stick talk Tony | +0.69 | 30 | 56 |
| #4 | Mr. Electric | +0.15 | 28 | 70 |
| #5 | Jack The Bipper | -0.02 | 61 | 36 |





