








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3582 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5013 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3934 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5230 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,151,023 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoqNv2 | 67% | 57 |
| #2 | Mel | 67% | 102 |
| #3 | Konix_ | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | ADN | 64% | 174 |
| #5 | Naymos | 60% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADN | 44 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | TheSmooky | 40 | 0.0241 |
| #3 | Alvinroow❤ | 28 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | Naymos | 20 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Sepra | 18 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigflouz | 395 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | ADN | 390 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | TheSmooky | 377 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #4 | Mel | 289 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Naymos | 271 | 0.11 | 6 min |





