








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 939 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




279 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4815 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5501 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5261 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3575 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,906,949 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alvinroow❤ | 47 | 0.0197 |
| #2 | TheSmooky | 41 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Sepra | 34 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | Naymos | 24 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Aiklight | 23 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheSmooky | 505 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Aiklight | 336 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sepra | 323 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | WaRioR | 314 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mel | 283 | 0.13 | 7 min |





