








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3965 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2756 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1936 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2454 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,259 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naymos | 68% | 53 |
| #2 | Aiklight | 67% | 102 |
| #3 | Alvinroow❤ | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | RoseX | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | ADN | 58% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADN | 19 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Alvinroow❤ | 12 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | Aiklight | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Naymos | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | yoqNv2 | 7 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADN | 190 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | yoqNv2 | 173 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Aiklight | 172 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | bigflouz | 139 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Naymos | 116 | 0.12 | 2 min |





