








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1097 | 30% |
| Smokes | 283 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1158 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1157 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,145 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fcc410 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | large coke with no isis | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Shade | 52% | 170 |
| #4 | Vektorised | 51% | 144 |
| #5 | タイラー | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Vektorised | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | fcc410 | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | Mr.America | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | large coke with no isis | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | 443 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Vektorised | 199 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | タイラー | 110 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr.America | 93 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | large coke with no isis | 70 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | +3.15 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | large coke with no isis | +2.55 | 85 | 45 |
| #3 | Vektorised | +1.39 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | タイラー | +1.29 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | ☮ | +1.16 | 84 | 57 |





