








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11235 | 36% |
| Smokes | 10896 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5208 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4041 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,851,568 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1099 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mr.America | 49% | 562 |
| #9 | Chloroform Chamber | 48% | 89 |
| #10 | teddybrosevelt | 48% | 77 |
| #11 | fcc410 | 47% | 112 |
| #12 | Midward | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vektorised | 37 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Mr.America | 18 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | large coke with no isis | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ☮ | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | fcc410 | 16 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vektorised | 1262 | 0.08 | 29 min |
| #2 | Mr.America | 943 | 0.08 | 23 min |
| #3 | large coke with no isis | 594 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Jordan Belfort | 294 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | ☮ | 284 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | large coke with no isis | +3.09 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | Shade | +2.39 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | Vektorised | +1.94 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | DominionG | +1.43 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | ☮ | +0.38 | 87 | 52 |





