








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2187 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1884 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2312 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3094 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,271,035 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2082 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | large coke with no isis | 53% | 79 |
| #2 | teddybrosevelt | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Shade | 50% | 230 |
| #4 | Vektorised | 49% | 222 |
| #5 | Mr.America | 48% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shade | 50% | 230 |
| #4 | Vektorised | 49% | 222 |
| #5 | Mr.America | 48% | 201 |
| #6 | Jordan Belfort | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | fcc410 | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | 28 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Vektorised | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | fcc410 | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | large coke with no isis | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Mr.America | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | 616 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Vektorised | 387 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mr.America | 362 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | large coke with no isis | 184 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | teddybrosevelt | 85 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vektorised | +2.43 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | large coke with no isis | +2.29 | 85 | 48 |
| #3 | Shade | +2.27 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | ☮ | +0.81 | 88 | 52 |
| #5 | Jordan Belfort | -0.66 | 71 | 40 |





