








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 461 | 23% |
| Smokes | 592 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 578 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 404 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,327 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dogy | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Fuck you | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | woahhhhhhhhh he ju | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Mr. Aziz | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | pondis | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pondis | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | hheeyyyy | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | KuzcosPoison | 55% | 38 |
| #8 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | A Good Ol Nut | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Aziz | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | KuzcosPoison | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | pondis | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Fuck you | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuck you | 64 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mr. Aziz | 41 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | pondis | 40 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | KuzcosPoison | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | woahhhhhhhhh he ju | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuck you | +6.07 | 66 | 75 |
| #2 | Mr. Aziz | +4.22 | 93 | 62 |
| #3 | ARAB THANOS | +2.69 | 50 | 61 |
| #4 | A Good Ol Nut | +1.28 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | hheeyyyy | +0.07 | 62 | 51 |





