








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 466 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1118 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 638 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,287 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | hheeyyyy | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 43% | 30 |
| #9 | dyran | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | A Good Ol Nut | 37% | 43 |
| #11 | Dogy | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARAB THANOS | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | hheeyyyy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | dyran | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Richard Fitzwell | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | A Good Ol Nut | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyran | 165 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | ARAB THANOS | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | A Good Ol Nut | 79 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dogy | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fuck you | 48 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard Fitzwell | +6.70 | 61 | 70 |
| #2 | Fuck you | +5.58 | 69 | 75 |
| #3 | dyran | +4.40 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | iougyj | +3.02 | 75 | 47 |
| #5 | ARAB THANOS | +2.84 | 44 | 64 |





