








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 763 | 47% |
| Smokes | 429 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 171 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 269 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,920 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARAB THANOS | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | woahhhhhhhhh he ju | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | pondis | 52% | 81 |
| #4 | treeboy | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | bumble bee really about it | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | treeboy | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | bumble bee really about it | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | hheeyyyy | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | Pinga De James Bond 007 | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | dyran | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pondis | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | bumble bee really about it | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | ARAB THANOS | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pondis | 214 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | woahhhhhhhhh he ju | 144 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | bumble bee really about it | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ARAB THANOS | 34 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | dyran | 9 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyran | +5.57 | 69 | 55 |
| #2 | Mr. Aziz | +5.36 | 90 | 53 |
| #3 | ARAB THANOS | +4.36 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | pondis | -0.66 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | woahhhhhhhhh he ju | -1.40 | 34 | 49 |





