








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 315 matches | ||
| Esplay | 207 matches | 2,162 | |
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10879 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7549 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9088 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7101 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,287,689 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | croaā | 67% | 72 |
| #2 | smud.arney | 65% | 62 |
| #3 | pun į( į )į | 63% | 59 |
| #4 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 62% | 45 |
| #5 | Jungle Jonas | 62% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #20 | Gunn1sā⤠| 49% | 126 |
| #21 | Hugh | 48% | 141 |
| #22 | VeggTinsel | 47% | 57 |
| #23 | Phuk | 47% | 62 |
| #24 | Diplo | 37% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lundinho | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Hugh | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | raaay | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | VeggTinsel | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | artie | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lundinho | 853 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | Jungle Jonas | 572 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #3 | raaay | 571 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | artie | 527 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #5 | eXICKED | 480 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NisseFrĆø- *NoScopeGlasses | +3.23 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | Hugh | +2.58 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | croaā | +1.83 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | pun į( į )į | +1.58 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | Jungle Jonas | +1.40 | 63 | 70 |





