








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Esplay | 158 matches | 2,267 | |
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4572 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4802 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5180 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5148 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,231,678 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 786 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaptopTORE | 70% | 37 |
| #2 | smud.arney | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | hogelele | 63% | 46 |
| #4 | torri | 63% | 35 |
| #5 | cheeba | 62% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | TatoH | 48% | 141 |
| #19 | Jungle Jonas | 47% | 89 |
| #20 | Lundinho | 47% | 208 |
| #21 | Xerioon🐔 | 43% | 46 |
| #22 | raaay | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | cheeba | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Jungle Jonas | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | MOTOR | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | BreMathias | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | 638 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Lundinho | 587 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | DKOP | 408 | 0.41 | 14 min |
| #4 | Jungle Jonas | 375 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | Gunn1s♀❤ | 272 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0nabear | +2.44 | 83 | 85 |
| #2 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +2.32 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | Hugh | +2.09 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | croa– | +0.98 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | LaptopTORE | +0.91 | 77 | 83 |





