








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Esplay | 37 matches | 1,760 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3070 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4425 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3372 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3847 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,784 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jungle Jonas | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | .tob | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | GamerQueen <3 | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Bøgga | 62% | 39 |
| #5 | TatoH | 59% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | LaptopTORE | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Bøgga | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | NaitZ" | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | kamelsvette | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | 535 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | LaptopTORE | 262 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | .tob | 183 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | kamelsvette | 173 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | raaay | 159 | 0.18 | 4 min |





