








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 171 matches | ||
| Esplay | 50 matches | 1,940 | |
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3549 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2766 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3037 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3140 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,993 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DKOP | 76% | 55 |
| #2 | croa– | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | Bøgga | 74% | 19 |
| #4 | hogelele | 73% | 22 |
| #5 | torhenn | 73% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Jungle Jonas | 53% | 15 |
| #17 | Hugh | 53% | 36 |
| #18 | torri | 50% | 32 |
| #19 | hEAhK | 47% | 32 |
| #20 | PB&JAY | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | TatoH | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | smud.arney | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | raaay | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | hogelele | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | 633 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | TatoH | 543 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | DKOP | 430 | 0.37 | 17 min |
| #4 | smud.arney | 252 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | raaay | 243 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | +4.68 | 83 | 81 |
| #2 | croa– | +2.57 | 77 | 78 |
| #3 | DKOP | +2.38 | 86 | 90 |
| #4 | hogelele | +2.04 | 85 | 64 |
| #5 | MOTOR | +1.87 | 66 | 78 |





