








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Esplay | 25 matches | 2,036 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3629 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2946 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3202 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2344 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,115 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | PB&JAY | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Jungle Jonas | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | artie | 59% | 46 |
| #5 | smud.arney | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Phuk | 38% | 21 |
| #17 | EV | 35% | 31 |
| #18 | VeggTinsel | 35% | 17 |
| #19 | Hugh | 30% | 33 |
| #20 | Triggerman | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Lundinho | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Hugh | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Pete | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Triggerman | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TatoH | 534 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | artie | 253 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lundinho | 198 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | LaptopTORE | 137 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | eXICKED | 118 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | +4.91 | 85 | 84 |
| #2 | Pete | +2.36 | 54 | 79 |
| #3 | LaptopTORE | +1.93 | 74 | 81 |
| #4 | smud.arney | +1.68 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | pun ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ | +1.59 | 59 | 71 |





