








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1634 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2337 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1518 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2021 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,112 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flint | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | GeneralKurre | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Juti G | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | ๐๐
ท๐
ธ๐RaxteR | 63% | 71 |
| #5 | DubbaDuulixโ
| 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | possu | 59% | 148 |
| #7 | Suppo | 57% | 109 |
| #8 | Hemuli | 54% | 117 |
| #9 | Matinger | 52% | 71 |
| #10 | Simpppaa | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | possu | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Suppo | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Simpppaa | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | DubbaDuulixโ
| 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Hemuli | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | possu | 349 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | ๐๐
ท๐
ธ๐RaxteR | 280 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Suppo | 228 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Matinger | 199 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hemuli | 103 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juti G | +2.00 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | GeneralKurre | +1.86 | 59 | 76 |
| #3 | Flint | +1.38 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | kauppisenmaansiirtovirma | +0.62 | 62 | 54 |
| #5 | DubbaDuulixโ
| +0.58 | 72 | 72 |





