








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 252 matches | ||
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2664 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2805 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2898 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3372 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,254,234 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matinger | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | Sutku | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | ππ
·π
ΈπRaxteR | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | R2F | 59% | 80 |
| #5 | possu | 58% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π±πΆπΆπππβ | 26 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | possu | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | kauppisenmaansiirtovirma | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Hemuli | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Kalevii | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π±πΆπΆπππβ | 675 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | possu | 339 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Kalevii | 246 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | kauppisenmaansiirtovirma | 222 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | ππ
·π
ΈπRaxteR | 177 | 0.17 | 5 min |





