








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 619 | 29% |
| Smokes | 324 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 487 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 689 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,796 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pierre. | 46% | 63 |
| #2 | walterâ„¢ | 45% | 83 |
| #3 | Artistootle | 43% | 76 |
| #4 | Sarcoptic | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | KritsAGC | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | walterâ„¢ | 45% | 83 |
| #3 | Artistootle | 43% | 76 |
| #4 | Sarcoptic | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | KritsAGC | 43% | 75 |
| #6 | oiseau | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artistootle | 15 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | walterâ„¢ | 11 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | pierre. | 11 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | KritsAGC | 10 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walterâ„¢ | 232 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | KritsAGC | 118 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | pierre. | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | oiseau | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Artistootle | 41 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KritsAGC | +2.13 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | oiseau | +0.99 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | pierre. | -0.08 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | walterâ„¢ | -0.82 | 54 | 62 |
| #5 | Artistootle | -0.89 | 65 | 51 |





