








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 730 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1378 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 909 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 862 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $503,039 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarcoptic | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | oiseau | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | KritsAGC | 51% | 126 |
| #4 | Artistootle | 51% | 128 |
| #5 | walterâ„¢ | 50% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | oiseau | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | KritsAGC | 51% | 126 |
| #4 | Artistootle | 51% | 128 |
| #5 | walterâ„¢ | 50% | 117 |
| #6 | OkaySavage | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artistootle | 21 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | walterâ„¢ | 17 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | KritsAGC | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | OkaySavage | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Sarcoptic | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walterâ„¢ | 299 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | KritsAGC | 189 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | OkaySavage | 138 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | oiseau | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Artistootle | 85 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KritsAGC | +2.53 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | oiseau | +0.57 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | pierre. | +0.26 | 77 | 59 |
| #4 | Artistootle | -0.89 | 68 | 48 |
| #5 | walterâ„¢ | -1.07 | 61 | 62 |





