








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 154 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3192 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2965 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3442 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3933 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,447 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 915 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walterâ„¢ | 52% | 227 |
| #2 | Artistootle | 51% | 171 |
| #3 | Sarcoptic | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | oiseau | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | pierre. | 51% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Artistootle | 51% | 171 |
| #3 | Sarcoptic | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | oiseau | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | pierre. | 51% | 126 |
| #6 | OkaySavage | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artistootle | 26 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | walterâ„¢ | 24 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | pierre. | 21 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | OkaySavage | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Sarcoptic | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walterâ„¢ | 515 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | pierre. | 154 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | oiseau | 153 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | OkaySavage | 135 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Artistootle | 107 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KritsAGC | +2.61 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | oiseau | +0.71 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | pierre. | +0.13 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Artistootle | -0.46 | 69 | 48 |
| #5 | walterâ„¢ | -0.98 | 63 | 59 |





