








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 657 | 28% |
| Smokes | 822 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 357 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 511 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,737 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pierre. | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | KritsAGC | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Artistootle | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | walter™ | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | Sarcoptic | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KritsAGC | 51% | 51 |
| #3 | Artistootle | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | walter™ | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | Sarcoptic | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | OkaySavage | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artistootle | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | pierre. | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | walter™ | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | KritsAGC | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | OkaySavage | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walter™ | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | KritsAGC | 72 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | pierre. | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Artistootle | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | OkaySavage | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KritsAGC | +2.55 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | oiseau | +0.86 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | pierre. | -0.02 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Artistootle | -1.20 | 65 | 45 |
| #5 | walter™ | -1.58 | 58 | 64 |





