








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 186 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2317 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2241 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2124 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,008 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarcoptic | 52% | 48 |
| #2 | KritsAGC | 52% | 227 |
| #3 | Artistootle | 51% | 176 |
| #4 | pierre. | 50% | 117 |
| #5 | oiseau | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KritsAGC | 52% | 227 |
| #3 | Artistootle | 51% | 176 |
| #4 | pierre. | 50% | 117 |
| #5 | oiseau | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | OkaySavage | 45% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pierre. | 27 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | KritsAGC | 26 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Artistootle | 19 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | OkaySavage | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Sarcoptic | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KritsAGC | 314 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | OkaySavage | 164 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | pierre. | 141 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | oiseau | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Artistootle | 101 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KritsAGC | +3.82 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | oiseau | +0.71 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | pierre. | +0.31 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | walter™ | -0.22 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | Artistootle | -0.65 | 69 | 49 |





