








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




140 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4575 | 53% |
| Smokes | 1227 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1483 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1325 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,255,184 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 475 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | I STAND WITH BIG TOBACCO | 32% | 22 |
| #8 | tetro | 28% | 25 |
| #9 | 𝔴𝔲𝔷𝔦 ⁴⁰² | 24% | 21 |
| #10 | The Rat | 24% | 38 |
| #11 | bractea | 17% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luigi | 106 | 0.0712 |
| #2 | Ted Kaczynski | 35 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Sandy Cheeks | 35 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | lilmegxo | 20 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | tetro | 14 | 0.0285 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilmegxo | 431 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sandy Cheeks | 379 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 290 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Luigi | 255 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | The Rat | 157 | 0.21 | 3 min |





