








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 893 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4075 | 49% |
| Smokes | 1080 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1253 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1967 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,024 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 802 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedHood | 32% | 37 |
| #2 | lilmegxo | 28% | 116 |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 24% | 37 |
| #4 | Theodore Bagwell | 24% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedHood | 32% | 37 |
| #2 | lilmegxo | 28% | 116 |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | 24% | 37 |
| #4 | Theodore Bagwell | 24% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ted Kaczynski | 14 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | Theodore Bagwell | 9 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | RedHood | 8 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | lilmegxo | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilmegxo | 210 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Theodore Bagwell | 150 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | RedHood | 123 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ted Kaczynski | 114 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedHood | +0.41 | 69 | 45 |
| #2 | The Rat | -0.13 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | Ted Kaczynski | -1.76 | 31 | 50 |
| #4 | Theodore Bagwell | -2.61 | 40 | 54 |
| #5 | lilmegxo | -3.20 | 15 | 46 |





