








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2918 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1424 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2219 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $853,256 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MDJ | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Mage | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | brodyn | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | stuffs | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | jacob? | 56% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Irneso | 55% | 47 |
| #8 | unk | 53% | 114 |
| #9 | cane | 50% | 22 |
| #10 | WhoShotYa | 45% | 66 |
| #11 | Banana Cat | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | 33 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | unk | 27 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | brodyn | 19 | 0.0262 |
| #4 | GKaay | 8 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | WhoShotYa | 6 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | 509 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | unk | 284 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | MDJ | 228 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #4 | brodyn | 197 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #5 | GKaay | 186 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | +7.38 | 95 | 55 |
| #2 | brodyn | +3.87 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | MDJ | +2.32 | 92 | 72 |
| #4 | unk | +0.64 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | Mage | +0.43 | 50 | 47 |





