








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 107 | 22% |
| Smokes | 88 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 130 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 170 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,457 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brodyn | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | MDJ | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | unk | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | jacob? | 53% | 89 |
| #5 | Skiyyy | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jacob? | 53% | 89 |
| #5 | Skiyyy | 41% | 41 |
| #6 | Irneso | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | cane | 30% | 10 |
| #8 | GKaay | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | 16 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | unk | 10 | 0.0202 |
| #3 | brodyn | 8 | 0.0277 |
| #4 | Skiyyy | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | GKaay | 3 | 0.0233 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | 336 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Skiyyy | 173 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | brodyn | 76 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | MDJ | 67 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | unk | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | +8.36 | 94 | 54 |
| #2 | brodyn | +5.82 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | MDJ | +4.50 | 96 | 74 |
| #4 | Irneso | +2.42 | 75 | 31 |
| #5 | unk | +1.59 | 79 | 64 |





