








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 885 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2966 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2430 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1497 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2232 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,973 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryzn | 76% | 34 |
| #2 | brodyn | 69% | 51 |
| #3 | Mage | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | MDJ | 68% | 44 |
| #5 | GKaay | 63% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | unk | 60% | 97 |
| #9 | -_-XeN | 59% | 17 |
| #10 | Skiyyy | 56% | 133 |
| #11 | Banana Cat | 53% | 89 |
| #12 | cane | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unk | 30 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | brodyn | 19 | 0.0205 |
| #3 | Skiyyy | 18 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | GKaay | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | ryzn | 10 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skiyyy | 491 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | GKaay | 280 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | brodyn | 268 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #4 | MDJ | 260 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #5 | unk | 249 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | +7.00 | 94 | 58 |
| #2 | brodyn | +4.12 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | MDJ | +2.18 | 87 | 73 |
| #4 | -_-XeN | +1.56 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | ryzn | +1.27 | 85 | 57 |





