








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2243 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1715 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3541 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2576 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,545 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | Mage | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | brodyn | 68% | 71 |
| #4 | cane | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | GKaay | 60% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Skiyyy | 53% | 114 |
| #11 | ✪ Hue! | 52% | 23 |
| #12 | Turtle | 50% | 18 |
| #13 | Irneso | 48% | 25 |
| #14 | WhoShotYa | 46% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | 24 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | brodyn | 23 | 0.0178 |
| #3 | Skiyyy | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | GKaay | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Tony | 8 | 0.0136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skiyyy | 416 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | brodyn | 364 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #3 | jacob? | 344 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | GKaay | 315 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #5 | MDJ | 303 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | +6.63 | 95 | 56 |
| #2 | brodyn | +4.25 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | MDJ | +2.66 | 87 | 72 |
| #4 | Fireboy | +2.52 | 88 | 71 |
| #5 | unk | +1.22 | 83 | 63 |





