








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2103 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1391 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1624 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,392 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Chou Tzuyu | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | theasianjasper | 52% | 86 |
| #4 | revenge killer | 52% | 71 |
| #5 | bomboclaat gaming | 52% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | bomboclaat gaming | 52% | 79 |
| #6 | picklepower24 | 52% | 27 |
| #7 | zipf | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | bruhnugget | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Rivers Cuomo | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 6 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | theasianjasper | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | bomboclaat gaming | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | picklepower24 | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | revenge killer | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomboclaat gaming | 424 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | theasianjasper | 286 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | picklepower24 | 139 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rivers Cuomo | 107 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chou Tzuyu | 86 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | +1.57 | 75 | 27 |
| #2 | theasianjasper | +1.20 | 54 | 79 |
| #3 | picklepower24 | +1.16 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | revenge killer | +0.63 | 53 | 55 |
| #5 | Chou Tzuyu | +0.48 | 67 | 80 |





