








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 718 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6431 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5754 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3316 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4459 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,581,772 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sppmorris | 52% | 79 |
| #2 | Bob | 49% | 84 |
| #3 | theasianjasper | 48% | 255 |
| #4 | revenge killer | 45% | 224 |
| #5 | Chou Tzuyu | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chou Tzuyu | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | Rivers Cuomo | 41% | 133 |
| #7 | bruhnugget | 40% | 48 |
| #8 | picklepower24 | 39% | 72 |
| #9 | zipf | 38% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | 28 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | picklepower24 | 11 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | theasianjasper | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | revenge killer | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | zipf | 7 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theasianjasper | 896 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #2 | Rivers Cuomo | 587 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | picklepower24 | 397 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #4 | zipf | 289 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Chou Tzuyu | 191 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theasianjasper | +0.97 | 53 | 80 |
| #2 | picklepower24 | +0.59 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | Bob | +0.45 | 70 | 29 |
| #4 | bomboclaat gaming | +0.37 | 34 | 68 |
| #5 | sppmorris | +0.29 | 50 | 55 |





